I grew up in Dallas, which is where Pizza Hut, Inc. is headquartered.  So it’s safe to say, I pretty much grew up with Pizza Hut pizzas.  It’s not the best pizza in the world, but when it comes to a hot meal delivered to your door step, who’s looking for the best?  It is good.  However, I feel compelled to share with Hong Kong that the Pizza Hut you’ve come to know is NOT the Pizza Hut I grew up enjoying.

Which brings me to the question.  Who hurt you, Pizza Hut?  

Pizza Hut Hong Kong has introduced the Double II Sensation series, two different disgusting pizzas, each themselves comprising of two different disgusting pizzas.

So diners can technically devour four disgusting pizzas in two unhealthy sittings.

The first offering, Beef Legend, boasts an outer ring of barbecue sauce, beef and cherry tomatoes, and an inner ring of pepperoni, cherries (yes, actual cherries), peaches and tartar sauce.

No matter how many times you read that sentence, it will read barbecue sauce, cherries, peaches and tarter sauce.  On pizza.

If that doesn’t get your taste buds salivating you could opt for the Seafood Delight, which has an outer ring of scallops, seafood (a category scallops apparently don’t fall into anymore), cranberries, carrots and okra. If that’s not gross and weird enough for you, the inner ring is made up of shrimp, red onions and dill thousand island sauce.  Yes, dill thousand island sauce.

Oh yeah, and both pizzas come with two crusts, one stuffed with crispy sausage and the other with double cheese.

Still can’t make up your mind?  Well, you can always check out the regular menu items like Land Ocean, beef, crab stick (everyone knows what a crab stick is, right?), corn, mushrooms, pepperoni and thousand island sauce.

How about Crawfish Delight Pizza with crawfish, seafood, peppers, peaches and more disgusting thousand island sauce.

Seriously, even if I tried I couldn’t make this up.  Thousand Island Seafood, tuna, crab stick (again… I’m afraid to ask), pineapple, peppers and thousand island sauce.

Still hungry?  How about an afternoon Tea Combo?  Meatball alfredo with peanut butter anyone???  In keeping with Hong Kong’s menu logic, the Tea Combos are served with Pepsi.  Pizza Hut doesn’t actually serve hot tea.

So to recap, the TEA combo does not come with TEA nor can you order TEA because they don’t have TEA only TEA combos.  Okay?

WHY PIZZA HUT?  WHYYYYYY???????  Who’s making you do this???